Solitude Reflection 2

       I spent an hour in solitude on Saturday, May 30, on an isolated hill close to my house. I took my Bible, a pencil, a notepad, and a bottle of water up with me, and I sat down for an hour to think. As I flipped through my Bible, I went to Romans and began rereading a few passages. In particular, I wanted to look through the prevalence of grace over religion, because I sometimes fall into the habit of behaving well for the sake of behaving well. I need to remind myself that I should be acting out of a real desire to obey God, and being alone really helps me to remember this fact. Without other people around to judge me, I find it much easier to reconcile with God and remember all that He has done for me.

      During this period of isolation, I also found it much easier to focus my mind on God. Last time, I kept getting distracted by people walking past or dust on the floor, or any number of trivial things. With nothing but the wind and insects for company on Saturday, I was able to "feel" my part in the world--my triviality, my solitude, and what a small cog I was. In all this, I was able to reaffirm my faith to God, because I was able to grasp how powerful He really is.

Fasting Reflection

       Over the past five days, I have fasted from video games. I realized that exams are approaching, and that I need to place all my focus into studying for them. My grades are somewhat mediocre at the moment and I need the exams to pull them back up again. From last Wednesday, the 27th of May, I put my PS4 away and deleted the gaming apps on my phone. I usually spend about an hour every day playing various games, in a set period of time at night. But starting on Wednesday, I threw myself into studying, and by the weekend I found that I had covered a lot of material and was ahead in my study schedule. As such, I had extra hours during the weekend to do as I pleased in the time slot I ordinarily use for gaming. 
       As per the instructions, I began using that time for reflection and praying. In particular, I took out the Bible and started reading Timothy. I thought Timothy would be interesting because he was Paul's protege in a sense, and there were two books to cover, so I could get more mileage out of the Bible study. As soon as I began reading, I found myself drawn into Paul's fatherly tone. He seemed genuinely concerned about Timothy: in 1 Timothy 5:23, he advised him to begin drinking wine to cure his various illnesses, and he even calls him "son" in various instances. To me, this affection makes Paul seem more human in a sense, less of a driven prophet and more of a man with concerns and people he cared about. 
     The passage that struck me the most was in 1 Timothy 4:13, which I read on Sunday. It reads, 

"11 Command and teach these things. 12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. 13 Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching."

I felt that this especially applied to me. Although I am young, I should never let anyone talk down to me because of religion. Instead, I should make sure that I am an example to others in more ways than one, and that I am a person who declares their love for God in public. I should have no cause to hide behind closed doors when it comes to my faith, and I can no longer use my youth as an excuse when young men like Timothy were church leaders at that age.

To summarize, taking time to fast from video games these past few days has given me the opportunity to reaffirm my faith and give myself strength in the Spirit, knowing that I am able to do great things despite my young age.

Solitude reflection

After taking some time to pray and think about God alone, I realized that solitude really does bring me closer to Him. Without anything else to distract me other than the task at hand, I realized it was far easier to see what linked me with God and what He was. No outside influences prevented me from getting an honest, clear view of what He is, and this is a new revelation for me. I now completely prefer praying and worshiping alone to doing it with others in a church. In a church it feels impersonal, and although it is worship all the same, I feel slightly uncomfortable. While in solitude, the magnitude of God increases and my own magnitude decreases until I feel that I am lost in His significance, and yet I know that He is above me and cares for me. Although I do not "feel" anything as of yet, I am coming to terms with God's enormity and His grandeur.
From now on, I will try and take some time to worship individually. There are several spots where I can go unmolested--the rooftop of my apartment, a hill near my house--and these places will hopefully increase my solitude and my companionship with God at the same time.

Great Faith Bio--Jackie Pullinger

Jackie Pullinger was destined for missionary greatness from a very young age. As a British Protestant citizen growing up in the wake of World War II, she went to church often at a young age, and decided upon a missionary life before she even knew the meaning of the word. Despite obtaining a degree for the oboe at the Royal College of Music, she found no satisfaction in her studies. She began applying for missionary positions in every way she knew how: through local churches, charities, even the Hong Kong government. But every attempt she made was fruitless. However, acting upon the advice of a vicar at her church, she gathered all her money and set out on a boat to Hong Kong in 1966, with no plan and only a one-way ticket. There was no going back.

            Once she had gotten to Hong Kong, she barely passed immigration, but was eventually allowed into the city. As a 22-year-old with no language skills and little formal missionary training, she must have been terrified. But despite this, she cast aside her personal feelings and placed her trust in God. She acquired a job in the infamous Walled City as a music teacher in a mission-run school. At the time, the Walled City was a hotbed for the triads and gangs, and ran rampant with crime. It was deemed untouchable by both the Chinese and British government. But Jackie did not let this faze her: she began approaching people in the city, telling them of Jesus’ love and salvation. Later, she remarked that “I loved this dark place.  I hated what was happening in it but I wanted to be nowhere else.  It was almost as if I could already see another city in its place and that city was ablaze with light.” She was a beacon of the gospel in an area where Christianity was practically unheard of; such was the degree of crime that existed in the city. However, she met little success with this strategy, as most people would simply give her condescending looks or responses. Other opposition came in the form of the local churches and triads: the churches believed that the Walled City and its inhabitants were too far gone to save, while the triads did not want anything distracting their members from a life of crime.

            Her first success came when she started a youth group. At first, many of the “Christians” who turned up were not real believers. They sought money and favors from someone they perceived to be a rich white woman. But eventually, the boys in her youth group began to find that Christianity was real. Most of the young men who were in the group were addicts to some drug, whether it was heroin or opium or something else. “I could walk down the street and see a hundred people chasing the dragon [using drugs]. You had to climb over their legs. I wanted something real to offer them… not just treatment in a center.” As well as that, most were undergoing the initiation rituals for the triads, which meant that they dealt in organized crime. They also rejected most components of Christianity: when Jackie wanted to pray, most would exit the room and catcall until the prayer was over. However, Jackie stuck with her plan, and her constant prayer helped reform many of the boys into real Christians.

            Jesus’ positive influence in her ministry began to show itself. Although Jackie had never asked for money from anyone, she began receiving monthly payments from the government, enough for her to quit her school job and concentrate on missionary work full-time. She found that Christianity changed the boys she worked with: they were able to reject drugs without major withdrawals, although the process was smoother for some than for others. Even the triad bosses began to respect the work that she had done: when vandals destroyed her youth club, a triad boss sent guards to protect the club. Even more strangely, a triad leader came to her and asked her to help his men get off drugs. But Jackie flatly refused, saying that she helped the men follow Jesus to reject the narcotics, and leave behind organized crime. The triad leader did not seem to mind and continued to support her, and renounced all claim on the boys who had become Christians.

            Jackie Pullinger is a true Gospel missionary and a Christian role model in every sense of the phrase. She entered a lawless and crime-ridden city with nothing but her faith and her will, and today is the founder of St. Stephen’s Society, which is a multinational organization that helps youths with drug addictions. She continues her missionary work today and her work has been felt in the countless families and men she has saved from drug addiction. I feel that this is missionary work stripped down to the bare bones: God inspiring and pushing a young woman to work for Him in a place where Christianity did not exist, and creating a beautiful result. Jackie once said, “ I had no idea how to bring this about but with “visionary zeal” imagined introducing the Walled City people to the one who could change it all: Jesus.” It is apparent that she succeeded.